Inspired by a reply to a recent post of mine, I have decided- in the interest of fairness and snarkiness- to give you tanks what for. Now, allow me to clarify- my response to the poster wasn’t to be a smart ass. It was to demonstrate that the context under which that post was made was that it was directly SOLELY at the DPS, and not at the healers or the tanks. I believe I’ve got the healer- bashing covered, but I’ve never bothered all you tanks who might be reading this. For all you good tanks out there, please ignore this post, as it is clearly not directed at you. At all you other tanks… learn and learn well!
Tanks- this is for you!
Tanks: Dumb Things You Do (Or Say)
Now, this is mostly from the perspective of instance tanks- I’ve had the honor and pleasure of healing and DPSing alongside some of the finest tanks I’ve ever seen in raids. But in random Heroics, I am rarely surprised that some of these things happen.
1. Wait for us to mana up. This isn’t just for the healers- that poor mage that just cranked out 20 bag slots worth of Conjured Cinnamon Rolls and Conjured Sparkling White Wine needs mana to make things explode. Let him, cuz he’s a fireballin’ M-A-G-E. After a fight, if I need mana, I’m gonna sit down and drink. Good tanks wait for their team to be ready before moving on. It ensures our mutual survival.
2. If that huntard’s pet is Growling, SAY SOMETHING. Seriously. Be nice the first time, be mean the second, and kick the moron the third. Shit.. maybe I should do a post just for Hunters… hmmm. -seriously ponders-
3. Make sure your gear is repaired. This is especially important for the one taking the facepunches, though it’s a good overall rule for everyone. PLEASE make sure your gear isn’t about to go red on you, you’re whole party will thank you.
4. Make sure you have the right gear on PERIOD. I don’t care if you’ve ‘tanked this in your DPS gear.’ Don’t. Just strap on your Stamgear and your big ol’ shield and lets make this as easy as we can on everyone involved. I HATE healing tanks in nontank gear.

She's ready to Consecrate... or is that Bubblehearth?
5. Check your spec. Accidentally forgetting to switch to your off- tanking- spec is ok. ‘Accidentally’ forgetting to switch to your off-tanking-spec (lol) is not. Yes, we- the others in your party- can tell the difference.
6. Tell your party how you operate. I say this from my own meager experience as a tank. My little Vissa would tank on occasion back when she was in her 30′s and 40′s, and I always told whatever party that got the dubious pleasure of having me tank for them that I would put down 3 Sunders and to kindly wait to blow the boss up until then. For the most part, they respected my call- some actually thanked me for telling them my plan ahead of time, so that they knew when they could go nutz.
7. If someone pulls aggro, tell them where you are so they can find you. There are enough warning devices out there now that will allow someone to know when they’ve overdone it. Slap down a Consecrate, or wait for them to get next to you and Thunder Clap or whatnot. Don’t run to them! If you absolutely must get to them- i.e. they are Rooted into place- just go backwards so you don’t miss your Parries and Blocks. But always insist that if someone grabs aggro that they come to you. Think of this as our way of making your life easier.
8. Don’t berate your healer for a little pre-pull HoT love. Really, its not going to cause enough aggro to pull the mob/boss from you. Yelling at me for tossing a quick Rejuvenate on you because you think its going to hinder your ability to gran aggro is ridiculous. I have not healed people for less. And, yes Healers, this HAS HAPPENED TO ME. -facepalm-
9. Don’t refuse to run an instance simply because you don’t like the class of healer you got. Again, you would think this wouldn’t happen… but it does. A LOT. Gee, Mr. Mean-Tanky-Pants, you don’t like druids healing you… so you’re going to drop group? Really? This is a special form of asshattery you cannot afford, my friend- tanks can rarely afford to be picky with their healers. We druids can keep you up, don’t worry! ALL HEALERS have some tank healing capability. Trust in the leaves and totems and bubbles and sparklies.
10. When all else fails, talk to your party. I have seen amazingly bad pulls be survived through simply because the tank and the healer and the deeps effectively communicated what they expected of each other. Don’t be afraid to tell us something, especially if it could spare us all a run from the graveyard and a repair bill.
Well, I hope this adds some balance to the snark I present to you here. Stay tuned later this week for a post for hunters- I know, they’re not healers, but I’m an experienced hunter, and Azeroth could use a few less huntards. Until then, stay angry, healers!
FOR THE HORDE! (Sorry, Alliance, you guys will never have as cool a battlecry as that… though ‘HAVE MERCY!’ is an appropriate response.) XD

FOR THE HORDE!!!!!!!!!!
~Pyo (who’s druid is a Night Elf, but who PvP’s FOR THE HORDE!!!!!)